Why I don’t edit erotica (and never will)

I recently got a request on my site’s contact form to help an author with a book. Something about the request seemed to not match up to my usual clients, so I asked the author,”What kind of book are you writing?”

“The genre is adult fiction, erotica thriller and dark romance,” the client responded.

“Sorry, I don’t edit fiction. Good luck,” I told her.

This isn’t the first time. A professional friend writing a fictionalized historical novel once approached me for help, but I had to defer.

Why I don’t edit fiction

Here’s the basic structure of a business or self-help book:

• You (or sometimes, we) have a problem.
• Here’s what the problem is.
• Here’s the surprising solution to the problem.
• Here’s how to understand and execute that solution.
• Here’s what the solution the problem will mean to you (and maybe, to the world)

I know all about that. I know about how to make it focused and dramatic. I know about how to structure the book, and each of the chapters. I know how to research it. I know how to weave stories about actual people into it. I know about tone and language and first chapters and last chapters. Heck, I wrote a book about it. If you’re writing a book like that, I can help you.

And that formula is amazingly broad. I’ve successfully edited books on networking, voter attitudes, artificial intelligence, marketing technology, medical breakthroughs, management, communication, and lots of other topics. I’ve worked with authors who were old, young, Black, white, Asian, Scandinavian, filthy rich, and new and hungry. They were all trying to solve a reader’s problem, and wanted to know the best way to do that.

Fiction does not solve a reader’s problem. Unless that problem is, “I’m bored.” Fiction entertains.

The problems of fictional manuscripts are: they need to be entertaining, believable, surprising, true to their characters, true to their milieu, and fun. Like you, I’ve sometimes read fiction and thought, “I know what’s wrong with this.”

But I don’t know how to fix it.

Non-fiction has to be true. The facts have to be true. The opinions and recommendations have to at least feel true. They have to be as true as they can be.

Fiction is lies. Fiction writers are liars. They lie on purpose. There is a skill to doing that. I only know how to edit truth. I don’t know how to make someone a more effective liar.

The risks of editing erotica

It was fun to think about editing erotica, even if I wasn’t going to do it. I posted this on Facebook:

Just got a request to edit a book of erotica.

Sorry, not in my skill set

My wonderful friends, many of whom I had edited, had a few suggestions:

“Says who?”

“You never know until you’ve tried… or do you know?

“A different kind of business book.”

“I’m sure you can pull it off!”

“Shouldn’t you review the draft before you decide?”

“Siri, give me a dozen synonyms for ‘throbbing.'”

“Let’s just say 50 shades of grey isn’t a description of our beards.”

“Time to get out of your comfort zone.”

“Maybe you could crowdsource this project. So we can all take a peek. “

“Perhaps you should have said that you’re just not up to the task.”

“You could always learn a new skill. Just sayin’…”

“Do a business erotica book.”

In response to that last one, I wrote, “Half the books I do work on are about people getting screwed.”

And apparently, there is a condition called “Proofreader’s Prostatitis” that afflicts editors of pornographic publications. Given my past history of prostate problems, there’s no way I’m risking that.