Public spaces, personal spaces, and civility

I’ve been studying social media for 20 years now. It’s become an increasingly tendentious and fraught space. People feel they can say or write anything they want, including falsehoods and insults. Their justification: “free speech.”

It’s true: you can say pretty much anything you want online, short of libel.

But not every space belongs to you.

My space, my rules

I control this blog. I maintain it. It’s my space. I set the rules.

I control what I post on LinkedIn. I set the rules about who can comment on what I write there, too.

Maintaining these spaces is essential. Once they fill with spam and nastiness, they’re worthless. So I put effort into creating a place worth visiting.

I learned my rules from Charlene Li at the dawn of the social media era. They haven’t changed.

My rules, which are intended to support a lively dialogue, are simple.

If you post a comment that adds to the discourse, it stays. You’re free to disagree with me or other commenters. That’s what makes the dialogue interesting.

If you post a comment that doesn’t even mention the content of my post, it’s probably spam and I’ll delete it. If it’s obviously spam, I’ll report it; do that enough, and Akismet (my blog’s spam blocker) or LinkedIn may restrict your posting privileges.

If the main purpose of your comment is to promote yourself, I’ll take it down. You don’t get to sell in a space I control.

If you post supposedly factual statements that aren’t true, without evidence, they’re coming down.

And most importantly, if you insult anyone — including me or other commenters — your comment will disappear. That doesn’t qualify as dialogue. You can be as angry as you want, just don’t be mean.

I’m not here to make everyone comfortable nor to surround everyone with one-sided conversation. But I’m not maintaining these spaces as a home for insults, either.

Manners

These rules predate social media. They’re just good manners.

So if you enjoy reading what I write and want to comment, I welcome that.

Just don’t be jerk. There are enough loudmouthed jerks in the world — you won’t find them in spaces I control.