How to respond to cold emails from a machine
My inbox regularly receives emails from people I don’t know, soliciting me for things I don’t want.
We’re all used to marketing emails, which Gmail helpfully segregates in its “Promotions” tab. But marketers know that they’ll get a greater response if they can get into your primary tab, so they’ve designed “personalized” emails that are about as personal as parking ticket.
I got this one recently:
Subject: Heard you on The FIR Podcast Network Everything Feed recently
Just caught your interview on The FIR Podcast Network Everything Feed – great job on that!
Quick thing: are you planning to do more podcast appearances soon?
I ask because what you shared would resonate with so many other audiences. The challenge is most people don’t realize how much time it takes to find the right shows, craft personalized pitches, and handle the follow ups.
That’s exactly what PodPitch solves. We’re like having a personal booking agent, but at a fraction of the cost. Our users typically land 6-10 interviews per month without spending hours on outreach.
If you’re interested in scaling your podcast presence, I’d love to show you how it works. Takes about a quick 10 minutes.
Worth a quick look for you?
Parker @ PodPitch
P.S. Mentioning your The FIR Podcast Network Everything Feed appearance in future pitches would definitely boost your appeal to hosts.
Do you think Parker actually heard me on the For Immediate Release Podcast with my friends Shel Holtz and Neville Hobson?
Or do you think Parker and his company have an automated tool that plucks information off of podcast listings and spams the guests, plugging the information in from a database?
Based on his website, once you sign up with Parker, he uses AI to spam the podcasts that are being pitched to put you on . . . thus trashing your own reputation along with his own.
If I ever sign up for anything like that, check me for signs of dementia. Ick.
What is the appropriate response?
I’m open to warm pitches from people who actually know what I do. They’re pretty easy to pick out from the drivel.
But cold pitches personalized based on automated tools make me furious. They use machines or even AI to co-opt the language of actual intellectual engagement, and unlike the merchants who email me, these folks never got my permission to spam me. They’re not that easy to spot, which means I need to take the effort to identify what they are and reject them.
They’re best described as AI Spam Solicitation Harvesting Operations by Losers, Epic. Or for short, ASSHOLEs.
What’s the appropriate response?
- Ignore.
- Send a polite “not interested” email. (This is often followed up by another automated email that ignores the text of what I sent, further confirming the sender’s ASSHOLE status.)
- Report spam and block.
- Design an AI tool that engages the emailer in a long dialogue at random intervals, stretching things out as long as possible without indicating interest or lack of interest, just to waste the ASSHOLE’s time.
It’s going to get worse. I’d welcome a (solicited) email from anyone who can implement option 4.
sign up for one
use it as chapter two in your book
actual case study in stupidity
sell more books
sign up for another one
chapter three
guy made a living with ted talks using a similar approach to spam calls
Spam calls on the phone about “computer problems” and my friend B would get them talking…..talking…..talking. “My internet signal is weak out here,” he would say. Some calls lasted 30 minutes without the spammers realising what was happening. He would also just walk away from the phone.