What is Robert Kraft apologizing for?

Orchids of Asia Day Spa, photo by Joe Raedle, Getty Images. What the heck is a table shower? Ugh. I don’t want to know. Sorry I asked.

New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft just apologized for not doing anything wrong. Why bother?

Police in Jupiter, Florida say they have video of Robert Kraft visiting the Orchids of Asia spa and massage parlor, which they say was a front for prostitution. The video almost certainly shows him doing something he’d rather you didn’t see. The women in the spa were apparently victims of human trafficking.

So he apologized. Here is the apology.

In deference to the judicial process, I have remained silent these past several weeks. To correct some of the misinformation surrounding this matter, my attorney made his first public comments on Friday night. I would like to use this opportunity to say something that I have wanted to say for four weeks.

I am truly sorry. I know I have hurt and disappointed my family, my close friends, my co-workers, our fans and many others who rightfully hold me to a higher standard.

Throughout my life, I have always tried to do the right thing. The last thing I would ever want to do is disrespect another human being. I have extraordinary respect for women; my morals and my soul were shaped by the most wonderful woman, the love of my life, who I was blessed to have as my partner for 50 years.

As I move forward, I hope to continue to use the platform with which I have been blessed to help others and to try to make a difference. I expect to be judged not by my words, but by my actions. And through those actions, I hope to regain your confidence and respect.

That may well be the most vacuous apology I’ve ever analyzed. To understand why, let’s strip it down to its bare bones. Here’s what it says:

My lawyer said I couldn’t say anything. I’m sorry I disappointed you all by doing something I can’t talk about. I’m a good person. I will do more good things in the future. 

What did he do? Can’t say. Was it wrong? Won’t say. Why did he do it? Can’t say. This statement is a pre-emptive “It’s gonna look bad, so don’t judge me.” That is not an apology, it’s self-serving. It doesn’t address the injured parties, which are the women exploited in this “spa.”

I know Kraft is constrained in what he can say because he’s being charged in a criminal case. He also probably doesn’t want to promise that he did nothing, because he obviously did something he would rather you don’t think about. But if you can’t say anything, why say anything?

And one more thing . . .

Regular readers of this space no doubt are expecting me to analyze the statement by attorney general William Barr regarding the Mueller Report. I won’t be doing that.

First of all, every editorial writer, blogger, pundit, and Facebook user in creation is already doing that. I have little to add that you won’t read somewhere else. Why jump into that mosh pit?

And second, the full report will come out, one way or another. So why bother analyzing the summary?

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