The Facebook Reactions that Zuck forgot

emoji reactions techcrunchMark Zuckerberg yesterday announced “Reactions,” a set of six emoji that will join “Like” as ways to indicate what you thought of a post. For instance, you can now tap “Yay” or “Wow.”

Zuck’s not thinking big enough. When I read a post, the set of emotions I feel isn’t covered by this meager list of 7. I’m sure this was an oversight due to a lack of imagination on their part.

I humbly submit my suggestions for new “Reactions” that Facebook needs to add. Suggest your own in the comments.

emoji documentCut and paste this update about Facebook privacy on your timeline and the good fairy will magically cure your sciatica.


emoji pooThis is a great article. Also, massive automotive software fraud is an “irregularity” and layoffs are “cost adjustments.”


emoji trump  I like blowhards.


emoji iron  I only like this ironically.


emoji bookThis is my book. I don’t need you to buy it. You don’t need to read it. I just need you to go to Amazon and post a positive review.


emoji elephantI’m a rock-ribbed, racist, meat-eating, gun-loving conservative and I like this post. If you don’t, you must be one of those mush-brained liberals.


emoji donkeyI’m a mush-brained liberal.


emoji prayerIf you do not immediately press like on this graphic of an inspirational saying, God will take your life and you will burn in hell forever.


emoji facebook flames Social media marketing is dead. Facebook killed it.


emoji floppyIs this AOL? I thought I was on AOL.


emoji meh“Facebook is the worst form of social network, except for all the others.” — Winston Churchill.


emoji crashOf course I use Facebook while driving. What could go wrong?


emoji overheat  Hot breaking news, or possibly, I’m cooking soup.


emoji data   Click this link to provide Facebook access to all your personal data.


emoji dollar  I paid for this Facebook ad, but I don’t think it was worth it.


Note to editors at publishing houses reviewing my book proposal and visiting this blog for the first time — I do silly stuff on Fridays. Go read this if you want more substance.


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