In a match between the putrid Patriots and Christopher L. Gasper’s mixed metaphors, everybody loses.
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In a match between the putrid Patriots and Christopher L. Gasper’s mixed metaphors, everybody loses.

I’ve written before about Boston Globe sportswriter Christopher L. Gasper’s penchant for mixed metaphors, as a way to illustrate how metaphor overload can interrupt the reader’s trance that makes great writing work. But things here in New England pro football have gotten desperate. The New England Patriots, not to put too fine a point on…

What is Robert Kraft apologizing for?
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What is Robert Kraft apologizing for?

New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft just apologized for not doing anything wrong. Why bother? Police in Jupiter, Florida say they have video of Robert Kraft visiting the Orchids of Asia spa and massage parlor, which they say was a front for prostitution. The video almost certainly shows him doing something he’d rather you didn’t…

Meaningless Platitudes Master Class: How not to write the way Bill Belichick talks

Meaningless Platitudes Master Class: How not to write the way Bill Belichick talks

Patriots Coach Bill Belichick spoke to reporters Tuesday, told only the truth, and said absolutely nothing. He spoke in platitudes. Take a close look at your own writing, because if you write the way Belichick talks, your readers will be just as frustrated as those reporters were. How to not answer a question the Patriots…

Patriots owner Bob Kraft won’t pick a side. Neither should you.

Patriots owner Bob Kraft won’t pick a side. Neither should you.

Bob Kraft backed Donald Trump. Then he helped out the teenagers from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School who’d survived a school shooting. Which side is he on? Until this weekend, you could put Kraft, the owner of the New England Patriots firmly in the Trump column. He donated $1 million to Trump’s campaign. Trump read…

Patriots win AFC championship, Boston Globe wins the Cliche Bowl

Patriots win AFC championship, Boston Globe wins the Cliche Bowl

Sportswriting is hard. You’re writing about things that have happened many times before, and on a deadline. The inevitable result is overblown exaggerations, overused cliches, hackneyed player quotes, and generally flaccid writing. Case in point: the Boston Globe’s coverage of the New England Patriots’ come-from-behind victory over the Jacksonville Jaguars in yesterday’s AFC Championship game. We’ve…

Optimism, group bias, fake news, and why the Patriots won the Super Bowl
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Optimism, group bias, fake news, and why the Patriots won the Super Bowl

The New England Patriots heroically overcame adversity to beat the Atlanta Falcons in overtime in Super Bowl LI. That’s the story here in New England. Or, perhaps, Atlanta coach Dan Quinn’s bad decisions, tired Falcons players, penalties, the unlikeliest catch ever seen, and Patriots cheaters are what really happened. Which is it? My message today (sorry to harsh your mellow…

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell: many words, hardly any meaning
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NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell: many words, hardly any meaning

Roger Goodell gave his “State of the NFL” press conference yesterday in the run-up to Super Bowl LI. Reporters asked difficult questions, and he gave mealy answers. If you’re looking for a tutorial on how to not answer questions, this is your chance to learn a lot. I’ll translate for you. (Based on the NFL’s transcript,…