Oldsmar Air Conditioning

Today I analyze a piece of promotional writing from a small business. Here’s the new copy for the home page of Oldsmar Air Conditioning of Oldsmar, Florida. The same copy appears on the company’s Facebook page.

Oldsmar AC is no longer in business, Thank You for your support over the last 10 years. Unfortunately, Eric has decided the company of a 17 year old is more important and valuable than that of his children, his wife and ultimately his customers.  Do to his horrific actions we’ve been forced to close the company, cancel all insurance, general liability and workers comp and no longer can legally work in Pinellas County. Please find a new contractor and do not call Oldsmar Air Conditioning or contact Eric as he legally can not do air conditioning installation, repair, service or maintenance legally effective immediately. Please be aware you may also be subjected to criminal prosecution and up to a $10,000 fine if you continue to authorize Eric Pusateri to perform air conditioning services.

Again, thank you for your support and I deeply apologize for any and all inconvenience.

Eric, you’re disgusting and a disgrace.

No burying the lede here. We get right to the most important facts. The copy unfolds dramatically and builds to a $10,000 climax. There are a few grammatical errors but they don’t distract from the basic message. Aside from the last sentence, the copy is factual, but it still communicates an emotional message along with the facts. Notice how the simple, understated declarative statements make an instant connection with the reader.

It seems likely that the Oldsmar Air Conditioning Page has won the content marketing sweepstakes and is now seeing more inbound traffic than any other small business in the area.

Too bad they can’t take advantage of it.