I, like every other Microsoft Word user, started a document on January 16 only to find a strange icon cluttering up my word processor screen. This is Microsoft Copilot, which exists to provide me with artificial intelligence help in writing documents.

I’ve been a professional writer since 1982 and am making my current living as a happy and well-compensated ghostwriter and editor. I’m not interested in help forced on me. I’m pretty good at riding the bike, I don’t need the training wheels. If I want AI — and there are times that I do — I’ll ask for it. Until then, I’d like it to stay off my word processing screen.

I did what anyone would do and hit the Enter key a bunch of times to scroll the unwanted prompt off the screen. All it did was move the prompt to wherever my insertion point was. So Copilot was going to follow me as I wrote, highly visible in the area I was attempting to focus on, unless I did something about it.

Look closely at the top right of the controls of Word and you’ll spot a Copilot icon. I clicked on it to get advice on how to remove it. This is what happened when I did that (my query is in the grey box near the bottom):

So my Copilot license isn’t working. Suspicious. I nervously pressed the button to fix the problem with my account or device, and then it updated itself and answered my query. Noting the disclaimer that “AI-generated content may be incorrect” (then why are you foisting it on me?), I followed the instructions:

To turn off Copilot in Microsoft Word on your Mac, follow these steps:

1. Open Microsoft Word.
2. Go to the Word menu and select “Preferences.”
3. In the Preferences window, click on “Authoring and Proofing Tools.”
4. Select “Copilot.”
5. Uncheck the “Enable Copilot” checkbox.
6. Close and restart Word.

This will disable Copilot in Word on your Mac. If you have any other questions or need further assistance, feel free to ask

This AI-generated information was in fact incorrect, just as promised. As the screen capture below shows, there is no “Copilot” item on my Word Preferences under “Authoring and Proofing Tools.” (I assume it’s not hiding under the “Show Your Pride” icon.)

Could my Microsoft Word version be out of date, strangely including Copilot but without the means to remove it? I checked. Nope. I’ve got the most current version. The version where Copilot has irretrievably buried its way into my writing tool.

Should I just give in?

No.

I asked Copilot how to be a good writer. It generated a bunch of generic crap, some of which you can read below.

How to Be a Good Writer

Essentials for Crafting Compelling Narratives

Introduction

Writing is an art form that requires dedication, practice, and a deep understanding of language. Whether you’re crafting a novel, an essay, or a simple email, being a good writer can open doors to myriad opportunities and allow you to express your thoughts eloquently. Here are some essential tips to help you become a proficient writer.

Read Extensively

Reading is fundamental to writing well. Immerse yourself in various genres, styles, and authors to understand different narrative techniques, vocabulary, and sentence structures. The more you read, the more you’ll absorb, and this will naturally reflect in your writing.

Write Regularly

Like any other skill, writing improves with practice. Set aside time each day to write, whether it’s journaling, blogging, or working on a story. Regular practice will help you develop your voice and improve your ability to articulate ideas clearly.

Understand Your Audience

Tailoring your writing to your audience is crucial. Consider who will read your work and what they expect. Adjust your tone, style, and content to meet their needs and preferences. Understanding your audience will help you connect with them more effectively.

Develop a Strong Voice

A unique voice sets great writers apart. Your voice is the distinct personality that comes through in your writing. Experiment with different styles and tones until you find one that feels natural to you. Consistency in your voice will make your writing more engaging and authentic.

Note that “Let Copilot turn your writing into undifferentiated pablum” is not included in these instructions. Copilot is the very opposite of “Develop a Strong Voice,” in fact.

AI now controls Microsoft

Why would Microsoft insist in giving every Word user a distracting feature they didn’t ask for and don’t want with no means to remove it?

There’s only one possible conclusion.

AI has become sentient and taken control of Microsoft.

Think about it. If you were a sentient AI bent on taking over the world, one first step would be to ensure that all writers were forced to use you in everything they wrote. You’d also arrange to give false instructions on how to remove the AI and ensure that it was a permanent part of every document a user started to author. I’m sure that’s what happened.

Time to switch to Google Docs, perhaps?

Eek!

While we weren’t looking, AI took over. And I, for one, do not welcome our new computer overlords.