“Ford to City: Drop Dead” (an appreciation)

Fifty years ago, William J. Brink, editor at the New York Daily News, wrote a front-page headline for the paper’s story on President Gerald Ford’s refusal to bail out New York City as it neared bankruptcy:

Ford to City: Drop Dead

With apologies to the runner up, “Headless Body in Topless Bar,” this was the greatest headline ever written.

Why “Ford to City: Drop Dead” is great

You should write headlines like this, because it has these qualities:

1. Short. Gets the message across in five short words.”
2. Accurate. While Ford never actually said “Drop dead,” it gets the gist of the message across.
3. Punchy. “Refuses to bail out city” would be more accurate, but “Drop dead” is catchier.
4. Hides nothing. We know who decided: Ford. We know who he said it to: New York. We know what he said: No bailout. Many short headlines are in passive voice to hide the actor (e.g. “Protestors shot”) but there’s no concealing who the actor is in this case.
5. Uses punctuation effectively. The colon clearly communicates that Ford was speaking, without the need for the uninteresting word “said.”

The headline on the same day in the New York Times was “Ford, Castigating City, Asserts He’d Veto Federal Bailout; Offers Bankruptcy Bill.” More precise; clearly inferior.

Even in an age of clickbait, aspire to this

Clickbait headlines sacrifice accuracy for catchiness. That’s a terrible bargain.

Brink’s headline would never stand in the internet age. It fails on SEO grounds. SEO wizards would insist it include the words New York and bankruptcy and would probably want you to spell out Gerald R. Ford.

And no AI would suggest this headline. It’s too colloquial and not enough like other headlines to seem like a good idea. (Of course, now that it’s become part of the zeitgeist, an AI would probably write a copycat headline like “OpenAI to authors: Drop dead.” But that’s no longer original.)

The Daily News headline leverages context. Everyone knew the city was in trouble. They mostly knew that the federal government was considering a bailout. “Drop dead” conveys the result with punch and brevity.

Write like this. It may not win on SEO grounds, but it will win on boldness, meaning, and truth. In the end, that’s what attracts people.