Yesterday, 50 former national security officials who had served in Republican administrations published a letter criticizing Donald Trump. This document is bullshit-free: it’s written in the first person with active voice, direct, declarative sentences and a limited number of qualifiers. For a political document, this is remarkable. An effective document is short, features a descriptive title, and explains its…
Earlier this month, owners of late-model Lexus vehicles found their navigation systems flailing. Lexus eventually apologized, but its statement is a classic example of how to use the passive voice to evade blame — or even a clear explanation. According to Forbes, an unknown number of 2014-2016 Lexus vehicles experienced the glitch, which caused the center…
I’ve written about law firm Mossack Fonseca’s wimpy response to the Panama Papers leaks. But what about the anonymous whistleblower who leaked them, “John Doe”? His followup contains direct, clear, definitive statements, which are convincing, and vague, murky generalizations, which aren’t. There are lessons here for everyone who writes in business. Below are excerpts and commentary. (While I…
Dan Lyons’ book Disrupted tars the whole startup business with the brush of his experience at HubSpot. One key element is to show that the rest of Silicon Valley is also corrupt with a recitation of all the recent sins of tech companies. Whenever you see a list like this, you should be skeptical. Here’s a paragraph…
I take a lot of shit for telling people to avoid passive voice. But here’s the thing: passive voice hides things. It creates a distance between the writer and the reader. I actually considered writing a whole book on it called “Passive Evil.” You think that’s too strong? Well, I’ve just reviewed all my posts on passive voice and…
Now that the bombing stories are done, it’s time for the blame stories — and the passive voice that inevitably accompanies them. Like the LA Times story titled: ” ‘Mistakes were probably made,’ Belgian official acknowledges after Brussels attacks.” Ya think? People performed these acts. Belgian and European police and intelligence agencies, obviously, missed something. That’s…
Antonin Scalia, the Supreme Court Justice who died Saturday, had a reputation as a fierce, incisive, and sarcastic defender of conservative values. Read his most famous opinions and arguments and you’ll find his rhetorical secret: passive voice statements that obscure the boogiemen he rails against. As my tribute to Justice Scalia, here are some quotes…
Chipotle Mexican Grill’s CEO Steve Ells is “deeply sorry” after 141 of his customers in Boston College contracted Norovirus. This comes in the wake of virus outbreaks in nine other states over the past year. The restaurant chain has deployed a team of copywriters to solve the problem. Their efforts on the company’s website gave me a stomachache….
One company has proven itself up to the task of indiscriminately bombarding me with irrelevant and really awful press releases — Meltwater Press. Today, I ridicule them and their credulous clients. I’ve been conducting a science experiment. When I started this blog, I also created a new email address. I never use it to sign up for…