Rock Holdings, parent company of Quicken Loans, has acquired Dictionary.com and Thesaurus.com. The resulting press release is a perfect example of how an idiot uses a thesaurus. I know this press release was supposed to be funny. Funny is different in a press release. I salute that. And it worked: Google News shows 7,570 articles about…
It’s there. At the bottom of your press releases, on the “Who we are” section of your website, at the end of your whitepapers. It’s the “boilerplate” description of your company. And it’s terrible. You’ve got 50 to 60 words to tell the world who you are, but if you’re like most companies, what you’re…
Adobe announced yesterday that it would acquire commerce platform Magento for $1.68 billion. It’s clear that an army of lawyers and PR people spent days crafting the 1001-word announcement, with is laden with highly refined, state-of-the-art tech-vendor bullshit. So let’s take the announcement apart. I’ll highlight jargon in bold and meaningless weasel words in italic, and…
Patriots Coach Bill Belichick spoke to reporters Tuesday, told only the truth, and said absolutely nothing. He spoke in platitudes. Take a close look at your own writing, because if you write the way Belichick talks, your readers will be just as frustrated as those reporters were. How to not answer a question the Patriots…
Sometimes you can’t call bullshit by its name. To avoid repetition, to write in places that prohibit curse words, or just to be more descriptive, you need synonyms. Thanks to Stephen Chrisomalis on a site called The Phrontistery, I now have a useful list of synonyms for bullshit. Here are some of my favorites. Descriptions…
The New York Times, reviewing leaked documents from the law firm Appleby, described how Apple reroutes profits to avoid taxes. Apple’s denial is full of facts but lacks clarity. In Monday’s New York Times article “After a Tax Crackdown, Apple Found a New Shelter for Its Profits,” here’s what we learned: Five months after [Apple…
In the wake of emotion comes an assault on the truth. Here are a few of the questionable or false things that surfaced in surprisingly authoritative places in the last week. The Las Vegas shooter was a liberal activist . . . except that he wasn’t. According to top search results on Google, Stephen Paddock,…
Robert Scoble had predicted the next iPhone would be focused on augmented reality (AR) and transparent, like a piece of glass. It wasn’t. But his description of why he was wrong is revealing, both about Scoble and about the future of both AR and iPhones. I’m a little deeper into this story than most people reading…
Thieves “potentially” made off with 143 million consumer records from credit reporting company Equifax. This is the worst data breach ever. The Equifax response is full of vague cover-your-ass statements at the exact moment when consumers most need accurate information. This is not the largest data breach ever — Yahoo lost data on 1 billion…